Have you ever been a consumer of pornography? How do you think pornography affects relationships? Do you think it is decisive or, on the contrary, that it does not have much influence? The debate on this topic has been open for several decades. We will analyze it below.
Since Playboy magazine was born in the 1950s, society has gradually become more tolerant of pornography. We have instant access to this type of content from almost anywhere in the world. Its audience has also increased; although men tend to be the biggest consumers of pornography, the number of women who view it has increased.
However, a topic so widespread in our society does not go unnoticed by researchers. Hence, their interest in studying the effects of pornography on couple relationships. Let’s see their results.
“Cinematography will elevate pornography. The sexual act will be a scene of success. Healthy art will fall.”
-Benjamín Solari Parravicini-
Studies on the effects of pornography on couple relationships
Sociologist Fagan (nd) argues that, in relationships, men who consume pornography may find their marital relationships less satisfying and feel less emotionally attached to their partner. On the other hand, women who find out that their partner consumes pornography report experiencing feelings of betrayal, distrust, and anger in response to this discovery; they also begin to feel less attractive and sexually inadequate.
McHee argues that pornography can be beneficial for relationships, especially in the sexual sphere, since its consumption influences the positive attitude of individuals towards sexuality and sexual exploration. In other words, it is about including pornography as another element of the sexual act in the couple.
Study 1
A study by Lambert et al (2012) identified a lack of data on the effects of pornography use on dyadic relationships. Based on this, they decided to conduct research that would evaluate the effects of pornography consumption in romantic relationships, particularly on their commitment. The hypothesis they proposed was based on the expectation that high levels of pornography consumption would be related to a lack of commitment or weakened commitment in romantic relationships.
In one of the studies, the objective was to determine whether there was a relationship between pornography consumption and the degree of commitment in relationships. To do so, they took a sample of 367 people between 17 and 26 years old who reported being in a heterosexual romantic relationship. To determine their consumption, they were asked the following question: Approximately how many times in the last 30 days have you visited a website with pornographic content?
The results showed that the existence of high levels of consumption was related to low levels of commitment in the relationship.
“Pornography is an attempt to insult sex, to dirty it.”
-David Herbert Lawrence-
Study 2
A study by Szymanski & Stewart-Richardson (2014) sought to identify expectations regarding the use of pornography during a long-term relationship or in marriage and gender differences. The results concluded that the use of pornography in relationships is conditioned by women due to the possible addiction that their partner may generate due to easy access to this content and the increasing number of couples who attend psychotherapy for pornography addiction.
These same authors consider that avoiding consumption is a way to protect the quality of the relationship since it is a way to ensure that the couple maintains love, commitment, and respect towards each other.
Similarly, Szymanski & Stewart-Richardson (2014) found that men perceive more positive qualities in using pornography than women, as they consider it to stimulate sexual relations. They also think that it is an instructive way to learn new positions and techniques.
However, although some participants considered pornography to be a means to improve the relationship between a couple, either alone or with a partner, the study concluded that people who consume this material with their partner have a greater dedication to the relationship.
On the other hand, it is important to note that in the most extreme cases or cases of addiction to pornography, in which there is continued and excessive consumption of this type of material, the addicted person experiences a loss of interest or sexual desire toward their partner. This is due to a decrease in the reaction to usual sexual stimuli since they need to increase the amount of viewing of this type of material. This situation can cause problems with erection, achieving orgasm, or a decrease in sexual encounters with their partner.
Effects of pornography on couple relationships: positive or negative?
On the other hand, about the effects of pornography on the relationship between couples, we can speak of two polarities. Sam Carr, professor of education at the University of Bath, says that it is all a question of perspective.
- Negative opinions. These are those that consider that pornography can affect the stability of relationships, decrease sexual activity, generate less satisfactory sexual relationships and less commitment to the relationship and infidelity (Bridges et al., 2003, cited by Lambert et al., 2012; Bergner, 2002, cited by Lambert et al, 2012; Fagan, n.d.)
- Positive opinions. Some positions consider that pornography can be beneficial in the relationship of a couple, especially in the sexual sphere, because it contributes to stimulation and is perceived as an instructive means to learn positions and techniques in bed. It is also a means for couples to have greater dedication to their relationship (Szymanski & Stewart-Richardson, 2014).
“I like reading pornography in Braille.”
-Woody Allen-
Conclusions
The concept of sex and sexuality has evolved throughout history. There is more and more information and the presence of sexual elements in our daily lives. This has the effect of normalizing and spreading behaviors such as the consumption of pornography in society. In this way, the idea that one of the members of the couple watches pornography is not so strange or experienced in such a negative way today.
However, the benefit or harm of pornography depends on how its members use it, on whether they both agree to use it during their relationships… Of course, always from a position of mutual respect; otherwise, it would be counterproductive to keep this in mind.
All sources cited were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, timeliness, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
- Fagan, P. (n.d.). The Effects of Pornography on Individuals, Families, and Society.
United States: Marriage and Religion Research Center. - Lambert, N.M., Negash, S., Stillman, T.F., Olmstead, S.B., & Fincham, F.D. (2012). A Love That
Doesn’t Last: Pornography Consumption and Weakened Commitment to One’s Romantic Partner.
Journal Of Social & Clinical Psychology, 31(4), 410-43. - Szymanski, D.M., & Stewart-Richardson, D.N. (2014). Psychological, relational, and sexual correlates or
Pornography use on young adult heterosexual men in romantic relationships. Journal of men’s
studies, 22(1), 64-82. doi: 10.3149/jms.2201.64.