What is love? A great question that human beings have been doing for years, centuries, to become. And what exactly is it? This is a feeling that emerges between living beings (persons and animals) that appears after a close and habitual relationship. But we still don’t know exactly why we feel love, what biological mechanisms trigger this feeling, and how it would be defined concretely and globally. In this article we will try to answer the question of what love is and know the differences between love and Infatuation, for this, we will go to scientists who have investigated about this concept.
What Is Love According To Science?
Throughout history, many scientists have tried to answer the question of what love is. But we want to talk about one in particular, Robert Sternberg because he is one of the most renowned scientists in this field. In his published work – Triangular theory of Love analyzes different elements that happen when we find ourselves facing this type of relationship.
According to Sternberg, love depends on three key elements, which are as follows:
- Intimacy. Creating an intimate and close relationship generates a greater loving feeling. Great connection and trust between the two members are created and this makes the couple more strengthened feelings.
- Passion. In the world of the couple, the element of passion is also key to a stronger and fuller loving relationship. Passion is related not only to sex but also to energy, impulse, and physical attraction.
- Commitment. It’s the third leg in the equation. To talk about what love is in today’s society in which we live, we also talk about commitment. The will to want to be together, to want to grow together, and to accompany each other, both in the good and in the bad.
Sternberg argues that the relationships that are made up of these three elements are the relationships that have a more intense experience of love. However, it is possible that in a couple you will have the combination of two elements or a single one. This will define the type of relationship we find ourselves in.
The Different Kinds of Love
As we have commented, depending on the combination of the above factors, there are different types of love. Sternberg describes them this way:
- Affection. A love relationship may be composed solely of intimacy, but there is no passion or commitment. Friends are usually friends in this line of love.
- Fancy. That’s when there is passion in a relationship, no intimacy, no commitment. They are often more superfluous relationships and arise between strangers or people who know each other very little.
- Empty love. This kind of love occurs when there is commitment only between the two members, but there is neither intimacy nor passion.
- Romantic love. It would be the combination of passion and intimacy, but it doesn’t have to include compromise.
- Sociable love. It is a type of relationship that usually appears when you lose passion or desire between the two sides. Therefore, there is intimacy, there is commitment, but there is no passion.
- Fatuous love. In this kind of love, there is a relationship of attraction and commitment, but there is usually no intimacy. They’re people who have almost nothing in common, but who want to be together.
- Consummate love. It’s the last of the love guys Sternberg indicates. This is the combination of the three elements and is therefore the most intense and satisfactory.
This is a fairly accepted definition of what love is. However, there are many other theories and explanations that, some of which, refer to chemical elements such as pheromones.
But what is something that seems to be agreed by everyone is that toxic love is NOT love. A type of dependent love, which minimizes the individuality and wishes of one of its members (or both) is not a loving healthy relationship and should therefore be redirected because serious psychological problems can be generated. In these cases, you have to know how to overcome disloyalty.