We talk about sex, separating it from making love . We feel the primary needs , fleeing from complex emotions. We think of one as delicacy while the other is nothing more than the most animal expression of ourselves. But everything has middle ground and neither white is white, nor black is black. Let’s delve deeper into it.
Love and sex
When we talk about romantic love , we refer to the feelings that are generated in a person when they join together in a reciprocal (or not) way with another person. These emotions lead to mutual growth, complicity, joint projects, etc.
If we refer to sex without love, we are talking about a “selfish” expression of our genitalia . With this we refer to the biological and primary act by which the human being can cover some of his primary needs.
For this, the union of two wills is sufficient, there must be no feelings involved , not even the knowledge of the other person. It has a slight nuance of selfishness, since each of the “wills” focuses on covering its needs, since in the absence of attachment there is in principle no reason to take care of the needs of the other person.
Love with sex, sex with love
If we look for that middle ground, we find a reality in which both those who believe they have only love and those who believe they have only sex, at some point move . It is very easy to have sex without emotions involved with a person, but it is not so easy when that person begins to cross your life and your senses more than once.
Suddenly, where before there was a cold kiss, there is a look, a touch of lips and a caress. Sex takes on a different meaning, passion begins to grow and change its form, because now sex is not just sex, it is sex with this person.
Love between a couple, without sexuality, lacks that part that completes it , that makes those two human beings touch the peak of intimacy where trust crosses paths that it could not even approach without it. Two minds that have already joined in many other areas can now join physically and take that attraction to another point, to another level.
Better together than apart
The climax is more climax , and it is only so because you leave aside the concept of discharging desire and work on passion fused with tenderness, complicity united with shared pleasure. Understanding is the tool by which the gears fit together in such a way that the couple is a perfect machine in which both are the best virtue of the other.
“In bed.
Lucia: Have you ever liked a girl more than me?
Lorenzo: No.
Lucia: Tell me the truth.
Lorenzo: Maybe sometimes, alone, but it’s different.
Lucia: You mean the one on the island, right?
Lorenzo: Yes.
Lucia: It’s almost any girl, she’s not known, full moon; we have to go to your island, separately, and then we meet there, as if we didn’t know each other, we’d have the sex of the century, right?
(silence).
Lucia: What do you prefer? A very wild fuck with a stranger or a fuck with someone you know who you’re in love with, but also wild?
Lorenzo: How?
Lucia: You have to choose. Either wild sex with a stranger or love sex with a wild acquaintance, crazy about you, and you about her, of course. Come on, be direct.
Lorenzo: With you”-Lucia and Sex (2011)-