The universe of love is plagued by myths and theories that have tarnished the original conception of what it is to love: to love someone, as it is, with their independence, their desires, and dreams. One of the oldest and most settled myths in society is the myth of the Better Half, that is, the belief that there is a person who complements you and who fully adapts to you, making you complete, together.
In this article, we want to analyze what the myth of the Better Half consists of and assess whether this consolidated belief in our culture has been positive or negative for personal relationships.
Origin Of The Myth Of The Better Half
We are going to delve into our culture to understand where the myth of the Better Half comes from, as it is an idea that has been part of society for many, many, years. In fact, we have to travel to Ancient Greece to find the origin of this myth; specifically, in the work – Plato’s Banquet where we find it for the first time.
In this book, Plato presented a theory of Aristophanes in which he said that the origin of human beings was composed of a type of man who was somewhat different from the current man: a man with four arms, four legs, two faces, and one head; that is, two people in one. According to the theory of Aristophanes explained by Plato, these beings could be composed of two men, two women, or a man and a woman, who was the one who was known as androgynous.
Due to the strength of these original human beings, Jupiter decided to reduce their strength and, therefore, gave in the nail with a solution: to separate them in two. Thus, the original human being would be the compound of two beings who were separated so as not to compete with the force of the divinity.
But this separation wreaked great havoc on the human being: he felt it was incomplete, that he lacked his other half. This made, much of the human life, to be dedicated to finding the other half of which they had separated him. When they did, the two halves hugged and didn’t want to separate again. And from here is where the myth of the Better Half arises, a myth that extends to our reality.
There Is No Better Half: We Are Completely Better
This myth has had a huge repercussion in the collective imagination and, in fact, today we continue to talk about the better stocking. It is a theory that is part of our conception of love and must be banished as soon as possible because it can only involve relationships of dependence and toxicity.
The myth of the Better Half defends the need to find someone who is our other half: someone who fits perfectly with us and next to us who will enjoy a perfect relationship. Here lies the first mistake and the first frustration: there is no perfection. The human being is imperfect and we must accept people as they are: with the good and the bad. The theory of the better half can make us conceive of a person, that we raise his consideration and that we will give it, feelings that build the basis of toxic relationships that can become very harmful.
There is something basic that we must never forget: we are not fruits, we are people and perfection is impossible. A couple is the union of two people who want to be together, no more or less. Two complete people, with their personalities, their dreams, their experiences, etc., who come together to complement each other, to continue growing, but at no time do they do so out of necessity, let alone to be more complete. We are not half oranges wandering the world: we are completely better in search of other oranges or lemons or peaches.
And all this is what seems to ignore the myth of the better half. In this theory, we are people who search our other half for life to be complete. ERROR. Neither are we incomplete nor have we to be looking for anyone all our lives. We don’t need anyone to feel good, we must learn to be okay with ourselves, and all the social relations we establish add up, make us happier, and complement us: they don’t complete us. We’re already round, complete, and happy.