It is said that women cheat from the waist up and men from the waist down. Is this statement true? Can we determine how infidelity is considered according to gender? Is there a perception of female infidelity and another of male infidelity?
What no one can deny is that, on average, women understand cheating in one way and men in another. There is no better or worse way, they are just points of view and it is worth knowing them. Of course, there are exceptions. It is not about determining who is more unfaithful or how many feelings are included in the affair, but how each sex experiences infidelity.
Is cheating natural?
Before we move on to talk about how infidelity is viewed by each sex, it would be good to understand a little about what this problem is, which causes a good number of divorces around the world. Being unfaithful is not “simply” being with another person besides one’s partner, but rather it encompasses various emotional, psychological, and even social aspects.
Infidelity is, without a doubt, a relationship problem.
He seems to have the gift of opportunity, as he usually appears when the relationship is not at its best, one or both are not entirely sure about their feelings and do not dare to take the step of ending the relationship.
Based on science, there are several causes, separate or combined, that could explain infidelity. As far as evolution is concerned, we could say, without meaning to offend, that there seems to be a certain reproductive programming or instinct that is more developed in men.
A hypothesis that is based on an evolutionary interpretation of the fact that men, on average, are more open to a one-off romantic encounter than women.
On the other hand, and following the same hypothesis, the truth is that women are “penalized” in their reproduction by the duration of pregnancy itself. The nine months it lasts and the onset of menopause limit the possibility of having many children.
What is the male psychology of infidelity?
One of the reasons most often cited by men for their infidelity is the fact that they are looking for something to live out the sexual monotony they can experience with their regular partners. Their lack of communication skills or the fact that sex is still partly a taboo subject makes it easier for them to seek this novelty with someone with whom they have no emotional involvement.
On the other hand, there has always been a certain social approval of a man being unfaithful. Interpreted by many as a good demonstration of “manliness”, men have found in certain circles a recognition of this type of behavior. Quite the opposite of women, who are branded as little less than libertine if they are caught or if there is simply a suspicion that they have been unfaithful.
A study by the University of Bath in England has revealed that more than half of those interviewed who were in a stable relationship had cheated on them. The reason? Sexual desire. Being with someone does not reduce that ancestral need to have sex as often as possible.
According to the director of this study, monogamy is not natural because it is a social pressure that men are subject to, not an instinctive one. Nature did not create man to have only one partner, this was a cultural invention.
And there is more, because this man indicates that the male sex is only satisfied – sexually speaking – during the first six months of a relationship. After that time everything becomes routine and boring and that is when he starts looking at other women. After that, feelings of guilt, shame, or fear of being discovered can appear. In any case, these emotions are products of moral or social teaching.
How do women view infidelity?
In the case of women, the reason for female infidelity is more present. While it is true that women put their heart and emotions into almost everything that happens to them, when it comes to cheating on their partners they analyze it and think about it more. Making that decision goes beyond something instinctive, natural, or evolutionary.
It has been proven that many unfaithful women do not do it for sex, but because they fall in love or seek love outside their partners. That is to say when they cheat, it seems that they do it “for real” or perhaps with an even greater significance for the relationship, and once they take this step there is hardly any turning back.
This doesn’t mean that they don’t feel guilt or fear or that it’s easy for them to look their boyfriend or husband in the face, but they tend to be more committed to that parallel relationship.
The reasons why women cheat are more closely linked to disappointment and lack of love from their stable partners.
So, dissatisfaction and frustration are two of the most frequent reasons for female infidelity. Another issue to bear in mind is that women who are more romantic or idealistic tend to resist what seems to be the “natural evolution of love”, in which initial passion gives way to affection and deep-rooted love. Thus, one of the ways to propose this resistance is by trying to find a new partner who will take them back to the lost sensations.
For thousands of years, society has allowed adultery in men to a certain extent and has severely punished it in women. Female infidelity is synonymous with transgression of her marital or maternal duties. The cultural sanction is a very high price that an unfaithful woman must pay and many are not willing to live with that guilt.
Finally, we share a quote from a sexologist, Dr. José Luis Rodríguez: “Women are unhappy and then unfaithful. Men are first unfaithful and then unhappy .” Is this true or will it always be this way? What do you think about female and male infidelity?