The fact that a woman does not want to have sex does not mean that she is frigid. The reasons for this can vary, from simply not wanting to have sex at all to having a sexual dysfunction.
Sexual desire in women can sometimes be lost. Women’s libido tends to fluctuate more than men’s. Various studies, such as that carried out by the Finnish University of Turku, explain that these variations depend mainly on factors related to the couple.
One of the reasons why sexual desire in women can be reduced is female sexual arousal disorder. This disorder is listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).
If a woman’s sexual desire disappears, is this a psychological disorder?
When we talk about female sexual arousal disorder, the sexual desire in women disappears. However, we must take into account the interpersonal context in which she finds herself.
A difference in desire, when the woman has less desire to engage in sexual activity than her partner, is not enough to diagnose the disorder. As we have seen above, it could be the case that she simply does not feel like it as much as her partner, without this having to enter the realm of pathology.
Criteria that must be met to diagnose a female sexual arousal disorder
The DSM-5 provides a series of criteria for evaluating and diagnosing this disorder. If these criteria are not met, the affected woman with low sexual desire would not have any psychological disorder. Let’s see what these criteria are.
A. Absence or significant reduction of female sexual interest/arousal, as manifested by at least one of the following:
- Absent or reduced interest in sexual activity.
- Absent or reduced sexual or erotic thoughts or fantasies.
- Reduced or absent initiation of sexual activity and usually unresponsive to partner’s attempts to initiate it.
- Absent or reduced sexual arousal or pleasure during sexual activity on almost all or all occasions (Approx. 75-100%) of sexual activity with a partner.
- Absent or reduced sexual arousal or pleasure in response to any sexual or erotic invitation, internal or external (e.g., written, verbal, visual).
- Absent or reduced genital or nongenital sensations during sexual activity on almost all or all occasions (approx. 75-100%) of sexual activity with a partner.
B. The symptoms in criterion A have persisted for at least six months.
C. The symptoms in Criterion A cause clinically significant distress to the individual.
D. The sexual dysfunction is not better explained by a nonsexual mental disorder or as a result of a serious relationship disruption (e.g., gender-based violence) or other significant stressors. It is not attributable to the effects of a substance/medication or another medical condition.
Different women have different ways of expressing low sexual desire
There may be different symptoms in different women, as well as variability in the way they express sexual interest and arousal. And no two women are the same.
For example, in one woman, sexual arousal disorder may be expressed as a lack of interest in sexual activity. This may also be accompanied by an absence of erotic or sexual thoughts and a reluctance to initiate sexual activity and to respond to sexual invitations. In another woman or the same woman at another stage of her life, the main characteristics may be an inability to become sexually aroused and to respond with sexual desire to sexual stimuli. This results in an absence of physical signs of sexual arousal.
Problems in the couple’s relationship can be one of the causes
Female sexual arousal disorder is frequently associated with difficulty experiencing orgasm. It is also associated with pain during sexual activity, infrequent sexual activity, and discrepancies in desire between partners.
Relationship difficulties and mood disorders are also frequently associated with this disorder. Expectations about sexual performance are also not helpful. Unrealistic standards regarding the appropriate level of sexual interest or arousal, along with poor sexual techniques and lack of information about sexuality, may also be evident in these women.
These factors, together with the usual beliefs about gender roles, are important circumstances to take into account. The information society, as well as the sexual education received in the past, can play a trick on them.
Other causes that decrease sexual desire in women
Of course, as we said before, not everything has to be classified as a disorder. The causes of this decrease in the desire to have sex can also be related to the consumption of some type of medication, such as contraceptive pills or antidepressant pills.
But the problem may have its origin in something that goes beyond the moment in which you are with your partner or a treatment that you are following. Despite being usually associated with women in premenopausal age, it is the sexual dysfunction that most affects all ages.
In the United States, around one-third of the female population suffers from it, according to a report from the University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center. For its part, the Mayo Clinic estimates that 40% of women will suffer from it at some point in their lives.
If you are a woman and you find yourself in this situation (and it worries you), we recommend that you go to a psychologist who specializes in sexual dysfunctions. Only he will know how to help you return to a level of desire that improves your quality of life.