4 golden rules for talking about sex with your partner

Even amid a full-fledged pleasure revolution in which a positive sex picture is absolutely the accepted norm, the fact is that talking about sex with a partner is not always an easy task. Even if you feel comfortable with the idea of posing a sex-related topic to your partner, whether it includes a suggestion, a preference, a new idea to try, or anything else, make sure your message is truly clear and with efficient language to avoid hurting sensibilities.

Talking about sex may not be your preferred topic of conversation, but some research suggests that couples who can communicate on sex-related topics are genuinely more sexually satisfied. And when you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. When you communicate your needs, you get better results and greater emotional closeness.

Know the four golden rules for fluent communication with your partner

1. Avoid claims and act positively

You probably wanted to try new things with your partner during sex at some point, but you might feel uncomfortable because you don’t know how your partner will react. In this case, you can intentionally focus on what you like rather than what doesn’t currently work. For example, avoid comments like, Why do you touch me like you’re looking for the car keys? And instead, lean on positive reinforcement, like, you know, I really love it when you caress me this way, and then show him with acts.

2. Act patiently

If your partner seems to be afraid to speak (and not just in dirty words), he’s patient. To transmit trust, you can start talking about sex by addressing the relationship in general as a main point, then continue with the sex itself, and then build from that base.

3. Think before acting like it’s personal

If at any time you feel that your partner is not for the job, or that you are not so attracted at some point to having sex at that time, it certainly doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t like having sex with you. Nor does it mean that they feel attraction to you; you’re just not in the mood on a particular night. Don’t criticize, and instead practice feedback during or after intercourse as a lesson to optimize sex.

4. Have a little tact

You and your partner may have different sexual preferences or fantasies. That could mean that the commitments are for them to satisfy each other and grow intimately together. In this case, the commitment means having an open communication about their respective interests and learning what the other person likes, seeking to adapt the relationship to the tastes of both.