We all have fears, a completely natural reaction to a threat. But where is the line between fear and trauma? When do we cross the boundaries of fear and start talking about something much more serious?
Being afraid is normal and this feeling will always appear at some point in our lives. However, we are not talking about the same thing when we refer to trauma, since this is a toxic wound that affects us in our daily lives.
“He who fears suffering suffers from fear.”
-Chinese proverb-
Trauma makes you remember everything in great detail
Traumas usually appear when something serious happens to us, such as a robbery, a kidnapping, or a rape. Situations that, on the other hand, are normal for us to fear, since they are not exactly pleasant. But, when do we stop talking about an adaptive fear that is a consequence of experience and start talking about trauma?
When fear becomes a trauma, images appear in our minds repeatedly and uncontrollably. Suddenly, we cannot stop feeling and remembering everything that has happened to us, mentally reliving it over and over again, replaying an experience that plunges us into a prison of anguish.
Is it negative to remember everything that has happened to us and that is potentially traumatic? Not really. The negative thing is to let ourselves be carried away by those feelings and memories that only generate discomfort. We cannot erase memories, but we can implement strategies to make them leave our focus of attention quickly.
“Your fear ends when your mind realizes that it is the one creating that fear.”
-Anonymous-
Can you get out of this situation? The answer is yes, but it takes time. Remember that you do not have complete control over what happens in your mind. Even if you want to reduce those thoughts that haunt you again and again, they will most likely come back and it is best to be prepared.
We predict a dark future.
In addition to remembering everything in great detail, we begin to think of a hopeless future. A future full of darkness and completely negative and empty experiences. We find ourselves immersed in a circle that is getting bigger and bigger, from which we do not know how to get out and in which we are slowly drowning.
This is a perception that we develop about the world. In reality, not everything is as black as it seems, but in our reality, there are no encouraging options, and there is no hope. Everything that seems grey is acquiring an increasingly darker tone.
When we find ourselves in this state, we begin to distrust everything and everyone. Paranoia sets in, we feel persecuted and cornered. This state is called hypervigilance.
Have you ever been robbed, kidnapped, or raped and you fear that it will happen again? You think it could happen again at any moment and that’s why you’re on alert. Have you ever found yourself in a situation like this?
“Even the bravest are afraid.”
-Bernardo Stamateas-
If you can’t imagine this situation, you can remember the sensations you feel after watching a scary movie: any sound makes you shiver. Your senses are alert, picking up any blow, voice, or sound that, in other circumstances, would go unnoticed. The same thing happens with trauma.
Failed attempts to erase memories
One of the techniques to get out of this situation is to try to block and eliminate these memories. But this is very difficult to achieve since we do not yet have a rubber that can affect our memory in such a selective way.
Thus, feelings become substitutes for memories as the usual object of intervention. In this way, people who suffer trauma often become cold and apathetic. This is a classic psychological mechanism that we all use without anyone having taught us: dissociation.
Not everyone can implement this mechanism and it is not a long-term solution either. The memories will still be there, you will just have changed your way of acting and seeing things. In reality, you are lying to yourself.
It is clear that there are experiences that hurt, of course, you will go through bad and good times, and nothing will ever be perfect. But, do not try to overcome all this by escaping from fear and activating mechanisms that sooner or later will fall by themselves and reveal the pain you carry inside.
Ignoring your emotions and feelings will never be the best option to overcome your fears.
Facing fear
As we have always said, the best thing to do in these cases is to face your fears. Take all those memories, all the traumas, and face them! You still have time to solve all this.
Fear does not have to block you, fear can remain in a tolerable and adaptive state without necessarily turning into trauma.
If you have already done so, find a solution as soon as possible. Seek professional help if you need it. They will give you the specific keys for your case and will accompany you on the way out, starting from the situation you are in.