Jealousy is a natural human emotion. This emotion can arise in various contexts, from romantic relationships to professional settings. It’s very common, and you might be jealous of anybody. Although it has been categorised very negatively, it is very normal to be jealous of someone. People are mostly jealous when they feel inferior or less capable of achieving something. On seeing someone else’s success or growth you might feel jealous. The emptiness of not being able to get the things you want makes you feel jealous.
Jealousy can be taken very lightly but sometimes it can be very destructive too. If not managed properly, jealousy can ruin relationships. It can also demotivate you and decrease your productivity. You might get anxiety and depression because of extreme jealousy. In this blog, we will explore the causes of jealousy and some tips for handling it with grace and intelligence.
What is Jealousy?
Jealousy is a little complex emotion. It can be present in love relationships or when you compare yourself with another person. Jealousy gives rise to feelings of insecurity, fear, suspicion and envy. Although it is a natural human emotion, it can still affect your mental health.
What are the causes of Jealousy?
There are numerous factors which give rise to the feeling of jealousy. Your childhood experiences, peer pressure, competitive atmosphere, parents’ behaviour or fear of being alone can cause jealousy. If a particular scene repeats throughout your life, it can lead to fear of abandonment and insecurities. This, when it grows more and is continued regularly, brings the feeling of jealousy.
Expectations from others are a big problem. When you keep high expectations, and it is not fulfilled, then you may experience the feeling of jealousy.
People having siblings mostly face the issue of comparison throughout childhood. This comparison creates chaos in the mind, which makes a person low self-esteem. It gives rise to a feeling of jealousy from your siblings.
Eight tips for handling jealousy
Find out the source of Jealousy
The first step in managing jealousy is by understanding its source. You need to find out the beginning of the instance from where you started to feel jealous. Is it due to your partner’s behaviour, Or due to your past experiences? These feelings can be rooted in your insecurities and fears. You just need to find the actual reason behind this feeling.
Examining your jealousy can be very helpful:
- Your friend’s new relationship can make you feel jealous. Because you lack a partner, a date night or a person to share your feelings with can make you feel jealous. You might worry about never being able to find the right person for yourself.
- Competition in your office can make you feel jealous. The promotion of your colleague, for instance, can give rise to such feelings. You might feel less competent for the promotion.
- When your partner spends less time with you it can make you feel jealous. Because you observed the same behaviour from your previous partner who cheated on you.
The reason for your jealousy might be insecurities, fear or experience. But it is very important to trace it first. First, know the problem and then focus on finding the solution.
Try finding a partner with whom you are compatible and can share your feelings. You may work on growing your potential for getting a promotion next time or talk to your boss about this.
Having a proper conversation with your partner can tell you about their actual feelings. If you trust your partner then never doubt him or her because of your past relationships. Holding something of the past for a longer period creates problems in the present.
Avoid Romanticizing or Shaming Jealousy
Mostly in movies, music and literature jealousy is often romanticised. In a relationship, people try to make their partner feel jealous. Not having any such response can make you feel defensive like they don’t care about you.
Avoid doing any such activities to make your partner feel jealous. As your partner might not like your actions. Try being frank with your partner. Share your feelings and keep things clear between you two.
Shaming Jealousy is equally incorrect, as it can disturb your mind and make you feel guilty. Sometimes even a small issue can be exaggerated. Instead, treat jealousy as a normal emotion that requires attention and care.
You can view jealousy as a chance to know about your insecurities and strengthen your relationship.
Be thankful for what you have
Having a little sign of gratitude can help you a lot. It can make you stress-free and also reduce the feeling of jealousy.
You might be living a life which many people dream of living. There might be a lot of good things and comfort in your lives which people don’t have. Start thinking about the life you are living and the comfort zone you are enjoying.
Developing the feeling of gratitude can make you feel less jealous and bring peace of mind.
Share with your close friend
Jealousy can develop overthinking and become a serious concern for you. Sharing with a close friend can make you feel a bit relaxed. Sometimes, your close ones have a better understanding of your matters. Your friend can explain the actual fact and it might reduce the jealousy. Friends are great when it comes to boosting self-confidence. A friend can indeed provide you with the right suggestion and show you the right direction.
Look into the complete matter
Sometimes jealousy is just because you consider a partial picture. Reacting without knowing the complete matter can cause confusion and conflicts. At times you are comparing your achievements with someone who has not achieved anything more than you.
Remember that people show only the best and happy side of the world. As you know, the grass is always green on the other side. Nowadays, everyone hides the real situation and tries to show off on social media platforms. You might be jealous by looking at the happy picture. But in reality, the scene may be different.
To reduce jealousy you must look into the depth of a matter completely.
Don’t draw a conclusion quickly
If you observe something and feel jealous, then first think of the matter before reacting.
Don’t jump to the conclusion; rather, mark the negative thoughts coming to your mind. Analyse the matter and try to find out what actually makes you jealous. Avoid panicking by jumping to a conclusion.
When you get jealous, don’t just freak out but think a little bit and calm yourself down. This will help you greatly in dealing with jealousy.
Cope up with jealousy, take a break
Coping with jealousy doesn’t help you in getting out of it. But it helps you to relax a bit and reduces your stress. Don’t just force the mind to change your natural thoughts. This can make you feel sad, angry, guilty and stressed.
You need to distract yourself from the thoughts about jealousy and focus on something else.
Taking a break for some time is a great idea. You can not do what you feel, go for a holiday or short trip or just give yourself some space. By doing so you can calm yourself and will feel better.
Remember your worth
When the feeling of Jealousy forces you to compare yourself with another person, self-worth can help you stay focused. Always remember your capabilities and strength when jealousy hits your mind.
Practice meditation which will increase mindfulness. It will also calm you down and help you understand your worth. Take time to appreciate yourself and celebrate even the small achievements.
Jealousy is not a problem but needs to be handled carefully. Don’t let jealousy affect your relationships or make you indecisive. Positively take jealousy and improve yours. Never doubt yourself by seeing someone else. You must remember your worth before comparing yourself to the world.