Anger and depression are two realities that often go hand in hand. The stereotype tells us that a person is depressed when they appear sad, depressed, and more or less encapsulated in their feelings of unhappiness. However, this is not the case. This is one facet of depression, but not the only one. In addition, depression manifests itself differently, depending on each person’s temperament.
Studies indicate that people who tend to get angry are also more vulnerable to depression. More specifically, a link has been established between depression and those who have fits of anger or outbursts of rage.
Anger and depression often have a common trigger: frustration. This, in turn, arises from a desire or an objective that has not been achieved or fulfilled. More than what is not obtained, what triggers the discomfort is the lack of resources to deal with this frustration. This is almost always accompanied by a poor opinion of oneself and a past with emotional deficiencies.
Anger, depression, and unconsciousness
From the unconscious point of view, anger and depression are part of the same process. One could almost say that they are equivalent. What differentiates one from the other is the object towards which they are directed. While anger is directed towards something external, depression includes those same aggressive feelings directed toward oneself.
Anger and depression are combined in a way that is as perverse as it is harmonious, with the manifestations of each being different. In anger, particularly when there are attacks or explosions of aggressiveness, destructive behavior towards others appears. Words are given a voice that offends, minimizes, or degrades the other.
Something similar happens with depression, except that in this case the person directs verbal violence towards themselves. It is just as destructive as that directed towards others. And it is also often accompanied by direct physical aggression or, at least, attempts at aggression. This is the case, for example, with risky behavior, in which one’s integrity is put at risk.
A vicious circle
The chain of events that leads to depression usually begins with a frustrated desire. You want something, but you don’t get it, and perhaps, at first, that doesn’t make a dent in you. But if this situation of wanting and not achieving is repeated several times, a much deeper feeling of frustration develops in you.
At the same time, this affects your self-confidence, and your self-esteem is weakened. If you don’t express all this, this accumulation of emotions stays inside you, oppressing you. And you can reach a point where this hurts you and breaks you inside.
At this point, you may feel a constant animosity towards the world. Depending on your temperament, this annoyance will be expressed as a rejection and a refusal to get involved in what surrounds you. Or the opposite: as a tendency to negatively influence what surrounds you, precisely because you reject it. Typically, both forms of expression will combine and follow one another.
Listening and accepting emotions
Anger and depression are two destructive states, both for those who experience them and for those around them. They usually lead to unnecessary conflicts and situations of high emotional intensity that alienate others. In turn, guilt and isolation lead to increased frustration, anger, and depression.
The way out of all this is simple and complex at the same time. It is about learning to listen to the emotions that are inside us and giving them the value they deserve. It is not recognizing these feelings and not letting them speak that becomes an oppressive force that later ends up harming us or harming others.
If you feel that these feelings of sadness or anger have become a shadow, they invade you and you cannot get rid of them, you likely need to talk about – or, better said, express – what is happening to you. Hopefully, with a professional who can help you reinterpret what is happening in your inner world. Why do you want what you want and you don’t get it and that ends up blocking you? Otherwise, anger and depression will be the ones that begin to dictate what happens to you.
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- Salguero Noguera, JM, & Iruarrizaga Díez, I. (2006). Relationships between perceived emotional intelligence and negative emotionality: anxiety, anger and sadness/depression. Anxiety and Stress, 12(2-3), 207-221.