Most of us have had to overcome complicated situations at some point , those that force us to stop or even close doors on us. Life crises that we classify as negative because they force us to change, either the way we act or think, but that can also become opportunities to move forward.
Although there are many types of life crises, some are more common than others. For example, there are those related to the change of stage, such as the transition from childhood to adolescence, from youth to adulthood, midlife crises, and crises at the end of life.
Other crises are identity-related, having to do with who we are and what we identify with. And there are also crises caused by a loss such as the death of a loved one, a breakup, a divorce, or being fired.
Crises are opportunities for transformation, moments of transition in which we have to act. Below we explain 4 ways to face these situations to emerge stronger from them. Let’s delve deeper.
“Man discovers himself when he measures himself against an obstacle.”
-Antoine de Saint Exupery-
1. Face what happens
Life crises can start with some warning signs such as feelings of sadness and fear, or with symptoms of anxiety or even pain. If we pretend they are not there, these signs can become bigger, with louder symptoms and worse consequences.
On the other hand, we must take into account that our personal history influences our conception of crisis and how we deal with it. For example, if it is a break-up, feelings of abandonment due to what we experienced during childhood may surface.
Furthermore, the way we usually solve our problems is also decisive. If we tend to drown in a glass of water, we are likely to feel overwhelmed by the crisis and find it harder to deal with it. Therefore, it is important to reflect on what is happening to look for new alternatives, make decisions, and make the necessary changes.
The situation may also require us to rethink our values and beliefs and set new goals. Life crises require us to examine ourselves and learn new ways of dealing with situations. Therefore, we cannot remain paralyzed, but rather act to keep moving forward.
“Only a crisis, real or perceived, brings about real change. When such a crisis occurs, the actions taken depend on the ideas floating around.”
-Milton Friedman-
2. Life crises are temporary
Crises, like all processes, have a beginning, a development with a peak, and an end. That is why it is advisable to train our thinking to remind us that what happens to us will also pass.
So what do we do while we deal with this temporary pain? Crises often contain opportunities for change, so we can take advantage of them to learn other points of view and other ways of acting. They are an excellent time to stop repeating behaviors and ways of doing things that no longer work.
However, the temporality of life crises is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it will help us to reduce the pain and transform it. However, the opportunities that come with them will also disappear after a while. Our attitude will be fundamental. It will be up to us to emerge stronger or the opposite.
3. Let go of the past
The solutions of the past have stopped working. The old situation, even if we thought it was better, no longer exists. Accepting this will help us manage our emotions better. Although the past is more comfortable and provides us with a sense of security, the sooner we recognize what we are facing, the sooner we can find new strategies to overcome it.
Sometimes clinging to the past creates a false sense of security against uncertainty. But in a crisis, we have to face our insecurities and weaknesses. Therefore, instead of using the past as an excuse, we can use it as a reference. In this way, it will be easier for us to identify strengths and resources that we had forgotten.
Furthermore, without clinging to the past, we can look more clearly toward the future to reflect and visualize where we want to go. However, if we continue to obsess over it, it can hinder our path and make us think that our goal has evaporated or that we are not going to achieve it.
So, if we let go of the past, we are more likely to realize that the crisis is just a speed bump. Perhaps even looking to the future will open up new possibilities.
“The problem with the world is that intelligent people are full of doubts, while stupid people are full of certainties.”
-Charles Bukowski-
4. Ask for help
Life crises often fill us with shame and guilt, feelings that can distance us from our loved ones. However, there is nothing wrong with recognizing that we cannot get out of a situation alone. Seeking support from people close to us or those who are going through the same thing can give us strength. Of course, the people we rely on must be optimistic and help us reflect or calm our anxiety.
In this regard, we can also go to a psychologist to get a neutral and non-judgemental perspective. A mental health professional can offer us a safe space to talk without fear about our situation and how we feel. On the other hand, they will also help us think about what is happening and find a solution.
The important thing is to be aware that there is no need to go through this situation alone. There are unavoidable crises that are part of life. We all go through them. Others, those that have more to do with relationships, are also experienced by many people, who may even share our emotions. Therefore, talking to others about what we are going through can help us feel understood.
Life crises do not necessarily have to be an extremely difficult process, but we cannot ignore them thinking that they will pass on their own. They are not easy to overcome and require time, but they can be opportunities to rediscover and define ourselves.
“I have six honest servants (they taught me everything I know). Their names are What, Why, When, How, Where and Who.”
-Rudyard Kipling-