Female anorgasmia or the absence of orgasm is a medical term for defining the regular difficulty in reaching orgasm after extensive sexual stimulation.
But why is it important to talk about it? Consider that according to the latest studies carried out at least 10% of women around the world and in addition, 1 in 3 are found to have difficulties in achieving it.
To begin to understand this problem it is important that we place ourselves in the fact that female orgasm is not a requirement for reproduction, but it has only to do with our pleasure, which is why the scientific community has not studied it too much.
As a precursor to these misconceptions about our orgasm, Mr Freud stated that there were two possible types of orgasms, clitoral orgasms, typical of immature women, and vaginal orgasms, typical of mature women.
This arbitrary separation and not at all correct has somehow marked a stream of beliefs that we still maintain today. How many of you end the sexual act just being penetrated? Some studies show that only 20% of us can have an orgasm only with penetration, without any other stimulation.
At the anatomical level penetration is not the easiest way to obtain pleasure, in fact, inside the vagina we do not have many nerve endings. Surprising, isn’t it? But it makes sense if we consider that when we use menstrual care products like cups or tampons, we don’t feel them most of the time, even if they’re inside our bodies.
This is because our pleasure organ is the clitoris, which is not only the external part we see, but it extends with its roots and bulbs internally. let us remember also, that orgasm, beyond a genital experience, is a brain experience, which has a subjective origin and everyone feels different.
Factors that influence the difficulty of reaching orgasms:
Organic factors:
- Hormonal mismatches
- Chronic Diseases
- pelvic floor dysfunctions
- Consumption of substances affecting the nervous system (drugs, alcohol).
Psychological factors:
- The dichotomy between what you want and what you do. Consider that penetration is the protagonist of history.
- Negative attitudes around masturbation and self-knowledge.
- Guilty of living a very activated sexuality.
- Insecurity about body appearance.
- Afraid of losing control.
- Sexual and affective communication in an active way.
We must bear in mind that in most cases, anorgasmia has a psychological origin (95% versus 5% of physical origin), so to overcome it psychological accompaniment will be necessary.
Cultural factors:
- Women as objects of desire and not as an active subject.
- Sex to please the couple and not yourself.
Part of the treatment of anorgasmia is to unlearn and question what we think is our sexuality and how much we deserve pleasure. To begin with, you can ask yourself the following questions:
When you’re in an erotic moment, what are you thinking? Is your attention focused on your body and its feelings or rather, thinking?
Are these thoughts of an erotic nature or are they more along the lines of “in this position you can see my love handles” or “I must have shaved well”?
Do you become responsible for your own pleasure or do you expect the other person to know how to reach orgasm?
What are your expectations for an orgasm? If you don’t get through penetration, does that frustrate you?
Sex is a language to learn, to communicate. Dare to explore it because you have every right to feel pleasure.