In general, patience is not the strong point of today’s parents. Perhaps, patience is not especially widespread. The stress we are subjected to, the competitiveness of the environment, the rush, the high expectations that are placed on us and that we place on our children and the uncertainty about what will happen in the future makes us tense.
Add to that the fact that children are, by definition, exasperating, and you’re faced with a difficult situation to master – though not impossible. Children can drive you crazy, but it’s in their nature to do so. But letting go and losing control is a parent’s job.
Maintaining control is the key to being a more patient parent. Control – or rather, self-control – helps you set boundaries and manage circumstances, understand them, and make smarter decisions.
It’s difficult, let’s face it. Children challenge their parents more intensely when they try to muster up their patience, in a fight to see who can do more. And if you lose control, you lose the game. It’s up to you to maintain your position on the board.
1 – Take a break
When you are tired you need time to recharge your batteries. In that situation, you are not in a position to make healthy, intelligent, and rational decisions. Any strong emotion will block your emotional thinking .
So don’t make decisions when you’re tired and don’t let yourself get carried away. Your children should know that you’re tired and need some time to yourself. Don’t try to be a parent during these times either. Don’t check schoolwork or try to control anything. Wait until you’re more rested.
2 – Count to ten and start again
If the situation gets out of hand with your children and you lose your temper, count to ten and take a deep breath. You need to “reset” your mind. You can’t continue like this. You can also ask your child for a “time out” where everyone goes somewhere before continuing. You need to calm down.
Take a deep breath and exhale slowly, consciously. Do this several times, counting to ten. This breathing will help you calm down. You probably naturally sigh due to the prolonged exhalation, and this is a natural way to help us eliminate stress .
3 – Be patient with yourself
Sometimes parents demand too much from themselves and want to be perfect parents. This puts pressure on us and when we see that we are failing, we get even more exasperated. We get angry with ourselves for not being as we would like or for not knowing how to handle the situation.
But you are only human. If you recognize your limitations, you will also find a way to overcome them. And you will apply the same to your relationship with your children. Be more patient with yourself to be more patient with them.
4 – Don’t behave like a child
Children do not have the capacity for reasoning and self-control that adults have. And you know it. Acting like a child does not bring you closer to their way of understanding things or help you make yourself understood.
Assume your role as an adult, and your role as a parent, and redefine your concept of discipline. Children are irrational, but you must act differently. And, if you can’t, you must learn to do it.
5 – Practice your patient’s behavior
Many parents are used to losing their temper because they don’t know how to talk in any other way. Therefore, you must practice. Imagine moments, put yourself in the situation, analyze past moments, and think about how you could have done things differently.
Think about what triggers your loss of control and don’t consider losing your temper as an option. Instead, imagine how the situation would progress if you remained in control and calm, and how you might feel. You need to train your brain to trigger the reactions you are interested in.